Teenage IndividualityTeenage individuality, ahhh, I can hear all the parents squirming from here. Teenagers are a different breed aren’t they? They go through so many phases in their life that it’s often difficult to even know who they are from one minute to the next. Everyone has a core identity, no matter what people portray on the outside or what they try and turn themselves into, they will always have that core essence and certain consistent characteristics. This is important to remember with teenagers because it can often feel that they are in a world of their own and if you’re a teenager yourself, then you may feel that no one understands you or what you go through on a daily basis. Well let me tell you, I know exactly what goes on because at the time of writing this I am 25 years old. I was a teenager not too long ago and I remember how difficult it seemed to me to be able to express myself and live my own identity. It seemed that I really didn’t know what I wanted or who I wanted to be. Teenage individuality can be the make or break of any youth. When I was at school there were so many people who all followed certain trends and went through many phases. You had the “goth’s” who all listened to Marilyn Manson, the punks who were into their Blink 182 and NOFX, the so-called “nerds” who actually paid attention in class, there were the “surfies” who hung around the beach on the weekend etc. The point is that these kids were not really experiencing teenage individuality for real, they were simply adapting to a trend or category that they believe they could be best suited. It can be hell for teenagers going through high school, I mean what if their particular identity is not accepted? Most of the time they feel they have to abandon it and become like a particular group. So how can you as a teenager express your own teenage individuality without being put through hell?I know what you’re thinking, “teenage individuality, what could that possibly achieve besides being teased, beaten up or having no friends?” It may be hard to express teenage individuality but the only real way to live by your own values and standards is to be rock-solid with who you are. Ask yourself who you are beyond labels, possessions, titles, geographic locations etc. 
In the beginning it will seem that you are an outcast but the people who aren’t afraid to live by their own beliefs are those that become leaders, the good news is that you won’t even have to wait to finish high school to be seen as one.There are certain people who become like magnets, you know the type, the ones that everyone wants to be like, the ones that everyone listens to. Even teenagers experience this throughout high school, there are certain people who possess an intangible asset such as charisma. These are the people who live by their own beliefs, values, standards and identity. If I were you as a teenager, I would first ask myself some intimate defining questions about yourself, then I would express my own teenage individuality and personal identity. Try it out, it could be the best thing you ever do, but you need to remain consistent and stick through the phase where your peers may try to break you back down to their level. The period where people try to break you is where the real benefit come in, this is where you prove your own courage to be you.
Now something for the parents in understanding teenage individuality.How many of you parents feel that you are not in touch with your teenage son or daughter? Say I. If every parent answered at the same time it would probably cause a global earthquake. The first piece of advice I would give you as a parent of a teenager is to lead by example. The statement “do as I say not as I do” is bullshit, that’s a great way to have your child rebel and go down a less desirable path in life. You need to live by the values and standards that you are trying to teach your child, in other words you MUST walk the talk. Second piece of advice; set aside some time for conversation with your child. It’s easy to get into a habit of being the authoritarian and lecturing your child about what’s right and wrong but that only leads further to them dissociating from you and shutting themselves off. Casually converse with your teenager on an equal level about their interests and what’s happening in their life, and at least act interested and engaged. Third piece of advice; to really understand teenage individuality, you need to understand individuality altogether. You probably feel as though you have lost touch with yourself a little. Follow some of the other advice on this site to really discover who you are and reconnect with your own identity. This relates to the first point I mentioned about leading by example. Start living by your own identity and expressing your own unique talents and individuality and understanding and guiding teenage individuality will become much clearer. I sincerely hope that this page at least gets you thinking about what you can do as a teenager to live by your own identity with pride. I also hope that some parents read this and take an active role in understanding teenage individuality and your role in helping mould the life and identity of your teenage son or daughter.
Return from teenage individuality to EHP home
|
